Stress and Single Parent

single parenthood has become more and more common in society and Being a single parent is not easy. It is like doing two jobs in one sitting. Single parenting requires you to be an understanding mother or a tough and a providing father all at the same time. Stress and single parenting, therefore, works together, giving single mom and dad a terrible headache every single  day.

Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.

So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.

The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.

Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.

Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.

If you are a fast typist, you can offer typing services through 'telecommuting.' It is a secretarial job that doesn't require a single parent to be 'on-site' or at the place where the office is located.

Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.

The virtual assistant will be paid online via Paypal or Online Checks, every 15th and 30th of the month, or as agreed by both parties.

This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.

As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.

Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.

Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual  activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.

A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.

Healthy Eating For Children

Getting children to eat can be a battle all on its own. Then add eating healthy and most parents throw their hands up in the air declaring it to be next to impossible.

This mini e-book is designed with those parents in mind. Here you will learn tips for helping your children to eat and to eat healthy. It is not as impossible as you might think. The best way to develop healthy eating habits is to start when they are toddlers. The common sense rule of: start as you mean to go on. However, for those of us who realize too late the impact of junk food and unhealthy eating has had on our children, read on.

Two requirements For Healthy Eating

The number one requirement for your children to eat healthy is to ensure that there are healthy foods in the house. That means fridge, freezer and cupboards are stocked with healthy food choices. I won't go so far as to say remove all of the junk food, but then again if you really want your children eating healthy removing the junk food means removing the option of eating unhealthy at least at home!

The second requirement for your children to eat healthy is for you to set the example. Our children today no longer tolerate the rule of do as I say, not as I do. That style of parenting went out a long time ago. If you continue to try this style of parenting don't be surprised when your children follow your example.

7 Tips For Healthy Eating

Tip #1

Involve your children in meal planning. This works especially well for picky eaters. Giving your children choice often eliminates mealtime struggles. This does not mean that your children determine what the household will eat for every meal. Rather it means that they are a contributing member of the family and that their opinions are important. This sends a very strong message to children. I highly recommend that your child be allowed to choose one dinner per week for the family.

Tip#2

Involve your children in meal preparation. Children are much more likely to eat something that they have prepared. Being involved in meal preparation can be as simple as gathering items needed from the fridge and cupboards. They can measure ingredients, peel vegetables, grate cheese, pour sauces or preheat the oven.

Tip #3

Use child friendly recipes. Child friendly recipes usually have no more than three to five steps and involve common foods found in most households. There are many websites that dedicate a recipe section to child friendly recipes. Simply do a web search on child or kid friendly healthy recipes and your choices are endless. Chatelaine's website you can actually search for healthy kid friendly recipes by entering the information into their drop box.

Tip #4

On your dinning room or kitchen table keep a basket with ready to eat fruit. Oranges, Banana's and washed apples. You would be surprised how often foods even healthy ones are eaten when you walk past them and don't have to go looking.

Tip #5

In your fridge keep a ready to eat (washed and cut up) try of: baby carrots, celery sticks and cauliflower and broccoli florets with dip. Keep your dip healthy by making your own. Better yet let your children make the dip. All you need to purchase is a container of lite sour cream and add one pouch of onion soup mix, stir together and place in the fridge covered with your veggies. For a quick dip try using your favourite salad dressings ranch or cucumber salad dressing are my families favourite for dipping veggies. You can always put this on the table with dinner. Many children who do not like cooked veggies love them raw!

Tip #6

In your fridge keep a ready to eat fruit tray. Peal a couple of oranges and break into slices, grapes red and green, pineapple wedges and kiwi. Make the tray up with fruits that will be eaten and will not turn brown once cut up. They key for many kids is adding a fruit dip which is very easy to make. Purchase a container of cool whip lite and let it defrost. Add a package of your favourite crystal lite (single serving). My children love their dip made with the strawberry, orange banana crystal lite. Mix and serve. You will watch the fruit disappear!

Tip #7

Mix in veggies where they can't see them. When my children were younger and the thought of veggies was enough for a temper tantrum at dinner, I learned to be creative. Whenever I made pasta for dinner or used a pasta sauce for topping veal, chicken etc. I added veggies. In my blender I pureed, green pepper, red pepper, onion, mushroom, garlic and anything else I happened to have on hand and added it to a can of pasta sauce. They declared it the best pasta sauce ever!

If you are worried that your children are not getting enough vitamins and minerals naturally through their diet make sure to consult your family doctor. They may recommend taking a multi-vitamin supplement. You can also use vitamin supplements called greens in your cooking, follow directions and add to your cooking. Always consult a doctor before having your children take a multi-vitamin or cooking with vitamin and mineral supplements. This is not meant to be medical advice.

As a Child & Youth Worker having worked with young children, children, teens and adults along with their families to assist them in reaching their full potential. I have worked in children's mental health, with dual diagnosed individuals, children and teens in conflict with the law and many families wishing to imporve their relationships. When left my position as a Program Director in Children's Services, my husband and I opened Brighter Futures. We consult to Children's Aid Societies, Families and work with children who struggle with behavioural issues. We are currently focusing on Parental Education which we believe to be the right of every child. We offer parenting courses, parental coaching and much, much more!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/843128

Family Reunion Gifts

Family reunion gifts are fun to buy, fun to give, and fun to receive, and are often given as a token or gesture of love and loyalty. A good family reunion gift should be thoughtful and personal. Family reunions are a time to re-affirm ties within the family and reconnect to one's family heritage. It is the time when all generations of the family get together, recalling the memories of years gone by and discussing new ideas. The best way to express feelings for each other is by sharing and giving gifts, which serve as a token of your love and care.

When considering gifts for a family reunion there are many different things to choose from to make the occasion memorable: t-shirts, key chains, or maybe presenting the eldest member with a plaque to mark the event. Signing a ceramic guest book platter is a great idea, with various members sharing jokes, poems, or quotes on the platter. Then you can take a family photograph on the reunion day, put it in a beautiful frame and present it to all the members. Specially designed t-shirts or caps, with a special logo or a picture of the oldest family members, are another idea.

You can choose a pen stand with the family name engraved on it. For kids, the best gifts would be chocolates, toys or cookies. For adults, giving personalized bags or wallets could be a good idea. The gift ideas are endless, but the main thing that matters is the emotional and sentimental value attached to the gift.

Children Socks

Many types of children’s socks with sytle. For example Ankle socks, knee socks, and tights are available for both boys and girls. Other types of socks include slipper socks and decorated socks.

Socks for girls include socks with trims of lace, buttons, bows, ribbons, and fake fur yarns.  Although the decorations are generally attached to the  cuff of the socks, there are designs that are printed in the sock it self.

For decorated socks have themes such as sports, animals, floral prints, stars and funny picture. Socks can represent the interests of the wear with things such as soccer ball beads, baseball type beads or basketball beads. The only limits to this is your imagination.

Materials for children’s socks include cotton, nylon, wool, natural yarns and synthetic yarns. There are soft yarns such as baby and sport yarns as well as various thickness of worsted weight yarn from two to four ply.

Children’s socks are made in a number of ways. They are mass produced,  being made on circular knitting machines like adult socks are. They can be hand knitted. They can also be hand crocheted as well. Some people actually make socks out of different types of fabrics as well.

Children’s socks can also be recreated by cutting of the foot of the worn socks and or knitting new feet. They can also be made by using the feet of socks and hand knitting or crocheting new top pieces. Trim can be hand crocheted, hand knitted, or sewn on to cuffs of plain socks to make them more fun to wear.

Healthy Home

All the cultures of the world promote family life. A family is the most important demographic unit from more than one aspect. The culture and society of a nation is very much affected by the way the families live in that country. Family life is important. People become what they become because of what the family life teaches them. A family unit is capable of teaching a person more than any other group of people in his life. There are certain steps which should be taken to ensure the stability of relations and stronger ties among the members of a family. You should avoid all such practices which can create problems in your family life. In a family the kids live with their parents. Most often than not the people of a family share their surname with each other. The way family members behave with each other affects the way a culture or a society flourishes. All these factors lead us to the conclusion that family unit is a very important unit. We also should assess our family members and talk to them about making the family ties even stronger. We must create understanding between the members of the family. If the people belonging to a family understand each other, the ties of the family will automatically be stronger.

Building a home is important. If you want to improve the quality of family life you are spending you have to pay all due attention towards these things. These steps are minor steps, but these steps result in a much better level of understanding between the members of a family, and as a result the family becomes more strongly tied to each other.

If you want to become closer to your family you must know and learn to create a habit of eating together. The experience the kids get by traveling and vacation brings them closer to their parents.

If you spend more time with your family members you will be able to create a better level of understanding with them.

Abc Breastfeeding

From the first moment the infant is applied to the breast, it must be nursed upon a certain plan. This is necessary to the well-doing of the child, and will contribute essentially to preserve the health of the parent, who will thus be rendered a good nurse, and her duty at the same time will become a pleasure.

This implies, however, a careful attention on the part of the mother to her own health; for that of her child is essentially dependent upon it. Healthy, nourishing, and digestible milk can be procured only from a healthy parent; and it is against common sense to expect that, if a mother impairs her health and digestion by improper diet, neglect of exercise, and impure air, she can, nevertheless, provide as wholesome and uncontaminated a fluid for her child, as if she were diligently attentive to these important points. Every instance of indisposition in the nurse is liable to affect the infant.

And this leads me to observe, that it is a common mistake to suppose that, because a woman is nursing, she ought therefore to live very fully, and to add an allowance of wine, porter, or other fermented liquor, to her usual diet. The only result of this plan is, to cause an unnatural degree of fulness in the system, which places the nurse on the brink of disease, and which of itself frequently puts a stop to the secretion of the milk, instead of increasing it. The right plan of proceeding is plain enough; only let attention be paid to the ordinary laws of health, and the mother, if she have a sound constitution, will make a better nurse than by any foolish deviation founded on ignorance and caprice.

The following case proves the correctness of this statement: 

A young lady, confined with her first child, left the lying-in room at the expiration of the third week, a good nurse, and in perfect health. She had had some slight trouble with her nipples, but this was soon overcome.

The porter system was now commenced, and from a pint to a pint and a half of this beverage was taken in the four and twenty hours. This was resorted to, not because there was any deficiency in the supply of milk, for it was ample, and the infant thriving upon it; but because, having become a nurse, she was told that it was usual and necessary, and that without it her milk and strength would ere long fail.

After this plan had been followed for a few days, the mother became drowsy and disposed to sleep in the daytime; and headach, thirst, a hot skin, in fact, fever supervened; the milk diminished in quantity, and, for the first time, the stomach and bowels of the infant became disordered. The porter was ordered to be left off; remedial measures were prescribed; and all symptoms, both in parent and child, were after a while removed, and health restored.

Having been accustomed, prior to becoming a mother, to take a glass or two of wine, and occasionally a tumbler of table beer, she was advised to follow precisely her former dietetic plan, but with the addition of half a pint of barley-milk morning and night. Both parent and child continued in excellent health during the remaining period of suckling, and the latter did not taste artificial food until the ninth month, the parent's milk being all-sufficient for its wants.

No one can doubt that the porter was in this case the source of the mischief. The patient had gone into the lying-in-room in full health, had had a good time, and came out from her chamber (comparatively) as strong as she entered it. Her constitution had not been previously worn down by repeated child-bearing and nursing, she had an ample supply of milk, and was fully capable, therefore, of performing the duties which now devolved upon her, without resorting to any unusual stimulant or support. Her previous habits were totally at variance with the plan which was adopted; her system became too full, disease was produced, and the result experienced was nothing more than what might be expected.

The plan to be followed for the first six months. Until the breast- milk is fully established, which may not be until the second or third day subsequent to delivery (almost invariably so in a first confinement), the infant must be fed upon a little thin gruel, or upon one third water and two thirds milk, sweetened with loaf sugar.

After this time it must obtain its nourishment from the breast alone, and for a week or ten days the appetite of the infant must be the mother's guide, as to the frequency in offering the breast. The stomach at birth is feeble, and as yet unaccustomed to food; its wants, therefore, are easily satisfied, but they are frequently renewed. An interval, however, sufficient for digesting the little swallowed, is obtained before the appetite again revives, and a fresh supply is demanded.

At the expiration of a week or so it is essentially necessary, and with some children this may be done with safety from the first day of suckling, to nurse the infant at regular intervals of three or four hours, day and night. This allows sufficient time for each meal to be digested, and tends to keep the bowels of the child in order. Such regularity, moreover, will do much to obviate fretfulness, and that constant cry, which seems as if it could be allayed only by constantly putting the child to the breast. A young mother very frequently runs into a serious error in this particular, considering every expression of uneasiness as an indication of appetite, and whenever the infant cries offering it the breast, although ten minutes may not have elapsed since its last meal. This is an injurious and even dangerous practice, for, by overloading the stomach, the food remains undigested, the child's bowels are always out of order, it soon becomes restless and feverish, and is, perhaps, eventually lost; when, by simply attending to the above rules of nursing, the infant might have become healthy and vigorous.

For the same reason, the infant that sleeps with its parent must not be allowed to have the nipple remaining in its mouth all night. If nursed as suggested, it will be found to awaken, as the hour for its meal approaches, with great regularity. In reference to night-nursing, I would suggest suckling the babe as late as ten o'clock p. m., and not putting it to the breast again until five o'clock the next morning. Many mothers have adopted this hint, with great advantage to their own health, and without the slightest detriment to that of the child. With the latter it soon becomes a habit; to induce it, however, it must be taught early.

The foregoing plan, and without variation, must be pursued to the sixth month.

After the sixth month to the time of weaning, if the parent has a large supply of good and nourishing milk, and her child is healthy and evidently flourishing upon it, no change in its diet ought to be made. If otherwise, however, (and this will but too frequently be the case, even before the sixth month) the child may be fed twice in the course of the day, and that kind of food chosen which, after a little trial, is found to agree best.

Crying Baby

Crying is a normal event in the lives of all babies.When a baby comes out of the woomb the first thing to do is crying.By the first cry he will take some air in to the lungs for the first time in their life.After delivery if the baby doesnot cry then it should be initiated by slightly pinching or gently strocking the feet.From this it is clear that the healthy baby should cry and it is a normal physiological event ,still some times it can upset the mother or family members.

We all know that a baby can't tell his needs or troubles in words. The only way for him  to communicate with others is by crying.Babies show some other signs like feet kicking,hand waving and head turning ect.But the best way to take the attention of others is by crying.

Excessive crying may not have a firm definition because the crying habit changes from baby to baby and some babies can be calmed easily but some are difficult to sooth.If crying is distressing for the mother and home nurse it can be called excessive.Many a times baby become quiet by giving breast milk or by carrying with a gentle rocking.Sudden onset of excessive crying means baby is distressed and needs attention.The causes of crying extends from simple reasons to life threatening conditions.Hence crying of a baby should not be ignored.

Most of the time it is difficult to find the cause of the cry .Common causes are discussed here for awareness.

Common reasons for crying:
                
1,Hunger
A hungry baby will cry till he gets  the milk. Here the old saying comes true'crying baby gets the milk'.

2,Wetting
Urination and defecation causes some discomfort and results in crying till his parts are cleaned and made dry .

3,Company
Majority of the kids need somebody near.  If they feel lonely they cry.When their favourite doll slips away from the grip they cry for help.
           
4,Tired
When the baby is tired after a journey and unable to sleep just cry simply.They feel tired in uncomfortable sourroundings and due to unhealthy climate.

5,Heat & cold
If they feel too hot or too cold they become restless and cry. Child is comfortable in a room with good ventilation.

6,Tight cloathing
Tight cloaths especially during warm climate is intolerable for kids.Tight elastic of the the dress can also produce soreness in the hip region.                                                                                   

7,Dark room
When the baby wakes up from sleep he needs some dim light.If there is darkness he will disturb the sleep of parents by crying.Ofcourse he will be irritated by strong light resulting in cry.

8,Mosquito
Yes,these creatures disturb the sleep by their blood sucking and make the baby to cry.

9,Nasal blocking
Child may not be able to sleep when there is a cold and go on crying till the passage is open.

10, Phlegm in throat
This also causes difficult breathing resulting in cry.Often a typical sound can be heard with each breath.

11,General aching
Generalised body ache with restlessness is seen in flu and prodromal stages of some infectious diseases can result in continuous cry.

12,Habitual cry
Some babies cry without any real cause ending the parents in agony.Many a times doctor is called for help.

13,Nappy rash
If a tight and wet nappy is kept for a long time results in this conditon. Rash can also be due to some allergic reaction to the elastic material of the nappy.  When the rash appears it causes soreness and baby become sleepless and cry.  All other skin lesions like eczema,ecthyma ,candidiasis ect also causes same problems.                                                

14,Earache
Ear infection is common in wet climate.The infection may spread from the throat.Ear infection can result in rupture of ear drum causing discharge of pus.Eareache usually becomes worse at night when lying down.Child will become restless with cry and may not allow you to touch the ear.Some children with earache rub the affected ear frequently.

15,Colic
When the baby cry continuously most of us diagnose it as colic.This roblem is still a topic for debate because exact cause for colic is not known and diagnosis is also difficult to confirm.Colic may be associated with rumbling and distention of abdomen.Child often feels better when lying on abdomen.Some children may not allow you to touch the abdomen.If the child cries continuously doctors help is needed.

16,Infections
All infections causes some kind of pain or irritation resulting in cry.Infection may be anywhere in the body.Usually it is associated with fever, redness and swelling.

17,Reactions to certain food
It is said that one man's food is another man's poison. Some food articles can produce some allergic reactions.Allergy  is manifested in the form of redness, breathlessness,gastric symptons and continuous cry.
       
18,Hard stools
Constipated babies with hard stools may cry when they get the urge for stool.Some children hesitate to pass stool because of pain .

19,Gastro esophagial reflex
Here baby cries with spilling of food after feeding.If this continues it may be due to gastroesophageal reflex.This is due to failure of the lower part of esophagus to close after food causing regurgitation from the stomach.It is difficult to diagnose this condition and can be confirmed by giving antireflex medicines.

20, Dentition
During dentition child becomes restless with crying.Often associated with gastric troubles and diarrhoea.
                               
Some rare reasons
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1,Bowel obstruction
Bowel obstruction is associated with severe pain and vomiting.Abdomen is distended with rumbling sound.Baby is constipated with absence of flatus.

2,Septicemia
Invasion of pathogenic micro organisms in to the blood is called septicemia.Fever is associated with this condition.

3,Torsion of testes in male kids
When a male baby cries continuously his scrotum should be examined.Torsion of the testes produce severe pain which will be worse by touching the affected testes.When the testes is pressed upwards pain is releived.If this is not treated properly it can damage the affected  testes due to lack of blood supply.

4,Meningitis
Initially there may not be fever,hence crying baby with alternate vacant stare and irritability should not be ignored.Fontanel is bulging. Neck rigidity and seizures may appear later.


5,Retention of urine
Children with retention of urine will have agonising pain making them   restless.                                               

7,Major injuries
Major injury to any parts of the body causes pain.Occasionally children will fall while arrying and results in head injury.Head injury is associated with reflex vomiting and convulsions.

Suitable Clothing For Children

During infancy.
--------------       

Infants are very susceptible of the impressions of cold; a proper regard, therefore, to a suitable clothing of the body, is imperative to their enjoyment of health. Unfortunately, an opinion is prevalent in society, that the tender child has naturally a great power of generating heat and resisting cold; and from this popular error has arisen the most fatal results. This opinion has been much strengthened by the insidious manner in which cold operates on the frame, the injurious effects not being always manifest during or immediately after its application, so that but too frequently the fatal result is traced to a wrong source, or the infant sinks under the action of an unknown cause.

The power of generating heat in warm-blooded animals is at its minimum at birth, and increases successively to adult age; young animals, instead of being warmer than adults, are generally a degree or two colder, and part with their heat more readily; facts which cannot be too generally known. They show how absurd must be the folly of that system of "hardening" the constitution (to which reference has been before made), which induces the parent to plunge the tender and delicate child into the cold bath at all seasons of the year, and freely expose it to the cold, cutting currents of an easterly wind, with the lightest clothing.

The principles which ought to guide a parent in clothing her infant are as follows: 

The material and quantity of the clothes should be such as to preserve a sufficient proportion of warmth to the body, regulated therefore by the season of the year, and the delicacy or strength of the infant's constitution. In effecting this, however, the parent must guard against the too common practice of enveloping the child in innumerable folds of warm clothing, and keeping it constantly confined to very hot and close rooms; thus running into the opposite extreme to that to which I have just alluded: for nothing tends so much to enfeeble the constitution, to induce disease, and render the skin highly susceptible to the impression of cold; and thus to produce those very ailments which it is the chief intention to guard against.

In their make they should be so arranged as to put no restrictions to the free movements of all parts of the child's body; and so loose and easy as to permit the insensible perspiration to have a free exit, instead of being confined to and absorbed by the clothes, and held in contact with the skin, till it gives rise to irritation.

In their quality they should be such as not to irritate the delicate skin of the child. In infancy, therefore, flannel is rather too rough, but is desirable as the child grows older, as it gives a gentle stimulus to the skin, and maintains health.

In its construction the dress should be so simple as to admit of being quickly put on, since dressing is irksome to the infant, causing it to cry, and exciting as much mental irritation as it is capable of feeling. Pins should be wholly dispensed with, their use being hazardous through the carelessness of nurses, and even through the ordinary movements of the infant itself.

The clothing must be changed daily. It is eminently conducive to good health that a complete change of dress should be made every day. If this is not done, washing will, in a great measure, fail in its object, especially in insuring freedom from skin diseases.

During childhood.
---------------- 

The clothing of the child should possess the same properties as that of infancy. It should afford due warmth, be of such materials as do not irritate the skin, and so made as to occasion no unnatural constriction.

In reference to due warmth, it may be well again to repeat, that too little clothing is frequently productive of the most sudden attacks of active disease; and that children who are thus exposed with thin clothing in a climate so variable as ours are the frequent subjects of croup, and other dangerous affections of the air- passages and lungs. On the other hand, it must not be forgotten, that too warm clothing is a source of disease, sometimes even of the same diseases which originate in exposure to cold, and often renders the frame more susceptible of the impressions of cold, especially of cold air taken into the lungs. Regulate the clothing, then, according to the season; resume the winter dress early; lay it aside late; for it is in spring and autumn that the vicissitudes in our climate are greatest, and congestive and inflammatory complaints most common.

With regard to material (as was before observed), the skin will at this age bear flannel next to it; and it is now not only proper, but necessary. It may be put off with advantage during the night, and cotton maybe substituted during the summer, the flannel being resumed early in the autumn. If from very great delicacy of constitution it proves too irritating to the skin, fine fleecy hosiery will in general be easily endured, and will greatly conduce to the preservation of health.

It is highly important that the clothes of the boy should be so made that no restraints shall be put on the movements of the body or limbs, nor injurious pressure made on his waist or chest. All his muscles ought to have full liberty to act, as their free exercise promotes both their growth and activity, and thus insures the regularity and efficiency of the several functions to which these muscles are subservient.

The same remarks apply with equal force to the dress of the girl; and happily, during childhood, at least, no distinction is made in this matter between the sexes. Not so, however, when the girl is about to emerge from this period of life; a system of dress is then adopted which has the most pernicious effects upon her health, and the development of the body, the employment of tight stays, which impede the free and full action of the respiratory organs, being only one of the many restrictions and injurious practices from which in latter years they are thus doomed to suffer so severely.

Quality Time

Make Quality Time with your Child Count

In today's busy world, work, household chores and social activities all put a strain on your time with your child. But as you well know, it's imperative that you spend quality time together. It helps strengthen the bond between parent and child, and lets your child know you can be trusted and counted on. Children who spend quality time with their parents often do better in school, and excel in extracurricular activities, hobbies or sports. And though it can be 'scheduled' to a degree, it's something that happens when you least expect it.  Therefore it's important that you do spend as much time as possible with your child in a relaxed atmosphere and do things together that you both enjoy. 

But you're asking yourself, "Where am I going to find the time? My schedule's crazy enough as it is!" Well, for something as important as your child, you need to start digging around in that crazy schedule and find the time.  Prioritizing is the key. 

Here's some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of your time and find quality time where you least expect it.

Look at your household chore list and decide which ones can be left undone or be done imperfectly in order to make more family time.  You might also want to consider leaving certain things until after your child has gone to bed to make the most of your time together.

Turn some of your everyday routines together count.  Sing some favorite silly songs on the way to daycare, or make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what's happening in your child's life.

If you have more than one child, realize that each of them needs your individual attention. You may really have to juggle things around to make this happen, but try to be flexible and creative when spending time with each of your kids.  And no matter what, don't skip those individual times with each child.  By doing so you show them they're lower down on the priority list than the dry cleaning or the grocery shopping.

Children thrive on stability and routines, so plan your quality times so that they can take place regularly. Maybe you can walk the dog together on weekend morning, take a shopping excursion together, have a scheduled night each week for a sit-down dinner together, or make a trip to the park.

Control Anger

Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You

Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition.  But it can be a terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you're taking your anger out on them.  Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have lasting and lethal implications, so it's crucial that as a parent, you do whatever necessary to get your anger in check.

As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger.  If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself.  If you don't, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline.  Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren't fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that's what they'll most likely grow into as well.

It's important to 'pick your battles' when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don't warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry.  But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn't worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you're the one in control of your anger; don't let your anger control you.  Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong.

Actively Listening Child

Actively Listening to your Child

Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times.  We feel like they're not listening to us; they feel like we're not listening to them.  Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting.  Your child's feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond.  We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences.  However, responding means being receptive to our child's feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us.  By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid.  But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they're coming from.  Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own.  Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel. 

It's crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention.  Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child.   Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem. 

Don't discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated.  Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic.  Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations.  By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from.  Remember, respond - don't react. 

Deficiency Of Milk

Deficiency of milk may exist even at a very early period after delivery, and yet be removed. This, however, is not to be accomplished by the means too frequently resorted to; for it is the custom with many, two or three weeks after their confinement, if the supply of nourishment for the infant is scanty, to partake largely of malt liquor for its increase. Sooner or later this will be found injurious to the constitution of the mother: but how, then, is this deficiency to be obviated? Let the nurse keep but in good health, and this point gained, the milk, both as to quantity and quality, will be as ample, nutritious, and good, as can be produced by the individual.

I would recommend a plain, generous, and nutritious diet; not one description of food exclusively, but, as is natural, a wholesome, mixed, animal, and vegetable diet, with or without wine or malt liquor, according to former habit; and, occasionally, where malt liquor has never been previously taken, a pint of good sound ale may be taken daily with advantage, if it agree with the stomach. Regular exercise in the open air is of the greatest importance, as it has an extraordinary influence in promoting the secretion of healthy milk. Early after leaving the lying-in room, carriage exercise, where it can be obtained, is to be preferred, to be exchanged, in a week or so, for horse exercise, or the daily walk. The tepid, or cold salt-water shower bath, should be used every morning; but if it cannot be borne, sponging the body withsalt-water must be substituted.

By adopting with perseverance the foregoing plan, a breast of milk will be obtained as ample in quantity, and good in quality, as the constitution of the parent can produce, as the following case proves:

I attended a lady twenty-four years of age, a delicate, but healthy woman, in her first confinement. The labour was good. Every thing went on well for the first week, except that, although the breasts became enlarged, and promised a good supply of nourishment for the infant, at its close there was merely a little oozing from the nipple. During the next fortnight a slight, but very gradual increase in quantity took place, so that a dessert spoonful only was obtained about the middle of this period, and perhaps double this quantity at its expiration. In the mean time the child was necessarily fed upon an artificial diet, and as a consequence its bowels became deranged, and a severe diarrhoea followed. 

For three or four days it was a question whether the little one would live, for so greatly had it been reduced by the looseness of the bowels that it had not strength to grasp the nipple of its nurse; the milk, therefore, was obliged to be drawn, and the child fed with it from a spoon. After the lapse of a few days, however, it could obtain the breast-milk for itself; and, to make short of the case, during the same month, the mother and child returned home, the former having a very fair proportion of healthy milk in her bosom, and the child perfectly recovered and evidently thriving fast upon it.

Where, however, there has been an early deficiency in the supply of nourishment, it will most frequently happen that, before the sixth or seventh month, the infant's demands will be greater than the mother can meet. The deficiency must be made up by artificial food, which must be of a kind generally employed before the sixth month, and given through the bottle.

Labeling Your House

Get Your Kids Reading By Labeling Your House

There is a fun and simple way to get your kids started recognizing some basic words. You can do it easily without even having to spend any money - you label all of the things in your house. The kids will enjoy getting involved in the ongoing process of labeling things, as well.

You will need some small strips of paper (you might adjust the size according to the item you are labeling), a pair of scissors, a pen or marker, and some tape. You just go through the house room by room, looking for things to label. Say, for instance, we started in the kitchen. Some things in the kitchen we could label are: cabinet, microwave, refrigerator, drawer. Labels might not stick on the oven or the dishwasher when they heat up – and when the dishwasher blows out steam. There are lots and lots of opportunities in the kitchen for naming things, though. You could even keep a stack of paper on the counter and when you come back from the store once a week, you and your child can label cereal boxes, etc.

Constant repetition of these basic words will help your child recognize them by sight and can also begin to help with letter recognition. This is a very basic step in the learning to read process and will not help with phonics skills. It is, however, a very important step and a fun way for your child to begin to 'know' words on his own.

You and your child can get very creative with all of this labeling, too. As stated before, some of the strips of paper can be different sizes, according to the thing being labeled. The strips of paper can also be arranged on things differently. For example, you can put the word 'window' vertically on the middle bar that separates two windows. And on venetian blinds, you can tape the word 'blinds' to an individual blind so that it is easily read when the blind is closed in the downward position. Your child will think it is so funny, because, when you open the blind it will be harder to read. And if you close the blind in the upward position, you won't be able to read it at all.

This is a good way to use the things in your house like flashcards. Close the blinds up and quiz your child on the first letter of the word. And if they are advancing even more, you can ask them to spell the word. This could also be done with cabinet doors – open the door all the way so you cannot see the word.

One room that is difficult to label is the bathroom. Remember when we talked about that steam coming out of the dishwasher? Well, the bathroom is full of steam from our hot showers, shaving, etc. The bathroom can be labeled, it's definitely not impossible. Just keep in mind that you will be replacing those labels from time to time.

The best thing about using labels all over the house is that your child will consider it 'play'. He'll love to help you cut the paper and hang the labels, making it more like a craft than an educational experience. All the while he'll be learning an important foundation to a life of literacy – what a great combination!

Cozy Corner

Cozy Corner Is A Great Way To Encourage Reading In Your House

A wonderful way to encourage your children to read at home is to provide them with a really comfortable place to do so. Find a place in your home that you can dedicate to reading time only and make it super cozy and totally awesome in the eyes of your child. You can even make it almost fort-like and it will become a special place that everyone loves.

You can call it 'Cozy Corner' or 'Reading Corner' or even better would be to let the children help to name it. That would make it even more personal to them and would help them feel more involved in the process of creating this snuggly place to enjoy books.

Now that you have found a place, you need to work on getting it wonderfully cozy. Working from the floor up, two inexpensive napping mats laid side by side would make a nice foundation layer. On top of the mats, a few blankets that are really soft would be great. And next, a pile of pillows will help ensure that your readers can get comfortable in just their own way. Some may want to lie all the way down and some may want to prop themselves up on some stacked, squished-up pillows.

A quick, easy way to add a table for your books is to get a milk crate from the dollar store and turn it upside down in the corner. If you decide to let the children take snacks and drinks with them in the corner and you need the table to put them on, you can use a large, hardcover book on top of the milk crate for a nice, hard surface.

Depending on the lighting in the room you choose, you might need to add some light to your cozy corner. Some type of light that hangs from the wall or the ceiling would be best, so there is no worry of the children knocking it over. You will want to steer away from the harsh, bright bulbs and select soft, reader-friendly bulbs.

Decorating for your cozy corner might just get you and your kids busy with some arts and crafts time. You can make a sign for your reading haven, perhaps even calling it by your family name. For instance, you might call it “Smith Cozy Corner”. Again, you can get the kids involved in the naming process and you might just get creative with alliteration or even rhyming. Alliteration would be quick and easy if your last name starts with 'C', you could call it “Caldwell Cozy Corner” if your name is Caldwell. This will be fun to brainstorm with the kids. Other things you could make to decorate your reading corner are pictures of books, bookworms, or even airplanes if your son loves airplanes.

Another thing you can do to make each child's time in cozy corner really special is to have them reserve their time there. You can set it up so it is similar to checking out books in the library. A schedule on the wall at the entrance would let everyone know when their appointed time is. This could be a laminated chart, so that you can use dry erase markers to use it over and over. Having your own alloted time in cozy corner makes it even more special.

Whys of Whining

The Whys of Whining
"Moooooooooooom!"
It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it's obnoxious and unacceptable, it's actually an effective for your child to get your attention. It's whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.
First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry.  Don't let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren't giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
When the whining begins, don't overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral.  Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don't delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It's imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
If you have an older child that's developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem.  If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child's whining.
Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root.  Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.

Discipline without Hurting

Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child

Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience.  It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt.  It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline.  And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse.  We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best. 

Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful.  The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.

Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action.  Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it.  And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.

If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline.  Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own.  Yelling and hitting should never be an option. 

Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child.  We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child.  But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.

Protect your Child Emotional

In our effort to balance very full and hectic lives with our families and our jobs, we may have been neglecting an all-important facet of our child's life:  their emotional well-being.  The first three years of a child's life is a critical time for a child, and the trauma of changing child care providers or having a 'part-time' parent float in and out of their life can be very traumatic and destabilizing for them.  It's imperative that parents, educators, involved adults and care providers make a concerted joint effort to ensure that a child's emotional needs are met on a daily basis, just as their physical needs are.  The effects of not meeting a child's emotional needs, especially during the first three years of life, can have devastating consequences. Violent, disruptive or defiant behaviors can result.

The first three years of life are critical in a number of ways. This is when bonding and emotional separation takes place.  If there are interruptions in either of these processes, misbehaviors from the child can result. This can later have an affect on their relationships later in life and hinder them in developing their own healthy relationships as adolescents or adults.

During the first three years of life, the brain goes through its most rapid development ever, the likes of which will never been experienced again. By the time they are three years old, a child's brain is already 'hardwired' from the experiences they've had to that point.  It's imperative that these be loving, supportive, safe, positive experiences so the brain will be conditioned to expect positive things.  If they've been frightening, hurtful, abusive, or dangerous, then the brain is conditioned to expect negative occurrences.

Therefore it's critical that parents, caregivers and other involved adults make a concerted effort to make sure the child's emotional needs are met in a positive, constructive and healthy manner.  Parents should ensure that the child's care providers are stable and consistent, and don't move them around to different childcare providers during this important phase. Ensure a child feels safe and secure with structured and consistent schedules and routines.  Be sure to spend as much quality time with your child at this time as possible, regardless of your otherwise busy and hectic lifestyle.  A child can sense that such a schedule is stressful to you and it can become a frightening or confusing element for them.  Therefore it's important to take time out to reassure them that you're never too busy for them.

Remember that your child's emotional well-being is just as important as their physical, so do your part to ensure your child knows he's growing up safe, secure, treasured and loved.

Consistency Key Discipline

Consistency is Key to Successful Discipline

Consistency is key to successfully teaching your child right from wrong when disciplining them.  It keeps small misdeeds and bad behaviors from later becoming bigger misdeeds and worse behaviors.  Consistency teaches your child there are defined consequences for misdeeds and inappropriate or unacceptable actions or behaviors.   Inconsistency when disciplining makes you directly responsible for your children's misbehavior and doesn't teach them how to be responsible for their actions.

Openly and honestly discuss these parameters with your former spouse and your child in advance, so that if discipline is needed, the consequences of such misbehavior are well understood in advance. Any disagreements between parents should be discussed out of the child's earshot.

It can sometimes be hard to come home after a hard day at work only to find a hard night of parenting in front of you.  Your child will consistently test the boundaries and 'push the envelope' with you to see if there's any play in those consequences.

Childs Uniqueness

Child's Uniqueness
Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. As a loving and nurturing parent, it's your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities. 
Allow your child to express themselves through their interests.  Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess.  Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment.  Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.
Accept and celebrate your child's uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes.  Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. 

Teaching Child Walk

TEACHING A CHILD TO WALK.

Exercise is essentially important to the health of the infant. Its first exercise, of course, will be in the nurse's arms. By and by, however, the child will make its first attempts to walk. It may be as well here to remark, that if such distortion is timely noticed, it is capable of correction, even after evident curvature has taken place. It is to be remedied by using those means that shall invigorate the frame, and promote the child's general health (a daily plunge into the cold bath, or sponging with cold salt water, will be found signally efficacious), and by avoiding the original cause of the distortion never allowing the child to get upon his feet. After some months pursuing this plan, the limbs will be found no longer deformed, the bones to have acquired firmness and the muscles strength; and the child may be permitted to get upon his feet again without any hazard of perpetuating or renewing the evil.

The best mode of teaching a child to walk, is to let it teach itself, and this it will do readily enough. It will first crawl about: this exercises every muscle in the body, does not fatigue the child, throws no weight upon the bones, but imparts vigour and strength, and is thus highly useful. Now time is required for this gradual self-teaching, during which the muscles and bones become strengthened; and when at last called upon to sustain the weight of the body, are fully capable of doing so.


Exercise during childhood.
Children, too, should always be allowed to amuse themselves at pleasure, for they will generally take that kind and degree of exercise which is best calculated to promote the growth and development of the body. In the unrestrained indulgence of their youthful sports, every muscle of the body comes in for its share of active exercise; and free growth, vigour, and health are the result.

If, however, a child is delicate and strumous, and too feeble to take sufficient exercise on foot, and to such a constitution the respiration of a pure air and exercise are indispensable for the improvement of health, and without them all other efforts will fail, riding on a donkey or pony forms the best substitute. This kind of exercise will always be found of infinite service to delicate children; it amuses the mind, and exercises the muscles of the whole body, and yet in so gentle a manner as to induce little fatigue.

There can be no doubt that the lungs, like the muscles of the body, acquire power and health of function by exercise. The free and equable expansion of the lungs by full inspiration, necessarily takes place; this maintains their healthy structure, by keeping all the air-passages open and pervious; it prevents congestion in the pulmonary circulation, and at the same time provides more completely for the necessary chemical action on the blood, by changing, at each act of respiration, a sufficient proportion of the whole air contained in the lungs, all objects of great importance, and all capable of being promoted, more or less, by the means in question.

Negotiating Rules

The Process of Negotiating the Rules with your Child

We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never easy.  Children are all very different, and what might need to be a rule for one, may not even be an issue for another.  That being said, there are many parameters that we set as parents that are the hard and fast rules - those with no 'wiggle room.' Those are the rules set forth to protect our child's health, safety and well-being.  These rules and their consequences should be very clearly defined and it should be understood by all involved that they are there for a very important reason and that they are 'all or nothing.' 

Rules that keep our children safe are of the utmost importance.  These could include everything from teaching youngsters not to touch the hot stove to teaching your school aged child the importance of obeying the laws while riding their bicycle.  Children need to understand these rules are to be followed to the letter and there is no room for negotiation here. 

For adolescents and teenagers, such rules should include expectations about drinking, the use of illegal drugs, or safe defensive driving.  These rules are also imperative to a child's health, well-being and safety.  There should be no room for experimentation or relaxing the rules in specific social situations. 

There are rules that can be fairly and equitably negotiated with your children as well.  Rules regarding how many hours per week can be spent on video game playing, what time a child is expected home for dinner, what time each night homework is to be completed, or how late a teenager is allowed to stay out on weekend nights are all rules that can be discussed openly and honestly between you and your child. These should also be consistent, however.  Don't' allow 11 p.m. one weekend night and then tell your teenager 9:30 the following weekend night when going out with the same group of friends.  If your teenager broke the 11 p.m. curfew the weekend before, the consequence of losing the privilege of going out that weekend should be strictly enforced.  Don't bend the rule just because your teenager seems genuinely sorry and promises never to do it again.  Consequences should be consistent, fair, and always followed through.

Hobbies are Healthy

Hobbies benefit children in many ways. It gives a child an opportunity to express themselves, and it allows them to discover themselves and build self-esteem. They are also great educational tools. A child interested in rock collecting learns about geology and science, and a child in writing stories learns about sentence structure and proper grammar. Hobbies teach children to set and achieve goals, solve problems and make decisions.  They can also set the course for what your child becomes later in life as they often turn into lifelong interests or careers. 
Children who have hobbies are usually following in their parents footsteps, so set a good example by pursuing your own hobby.  Your child will need space for their hobby, so find an area designated specifically for his hobby so he can work on it. Realize that hobbies can sometimes be quite messy, so be at the ready for messes as they come with the territory.

Be available to your child to provide guidance, support and encouragement.  This is a great time to teach your child strong work habits, such as following directions closely, setting goals, and proper planning and organization.  Show them that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, especially when they begin to become frustrated with their progress.  It's also a good time to teach them about personal responsibility and show them how important it is to properly care for their work area and their 'tools of the trade.'

Children will be more encouraged to work on their hobbies if activities like watching television or playing video games are limited.  It's been noted by experts that by age 15, the average child has spent more time watching television than sitting in a classroom.  Again, here's where setting a good example is crucial.  Instead of watching that four-hour football game on Saturday, turn the TV off and work on your own hobby.  Your child may want to join in or work on their own as a result.

Hobbies are rewarding and enriching parts of our lives, so encourage your child to explore his own interests and find a hobby of their very own.

Family Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes most parents feel uncomfortable. In countries such as the United States, United Kingdom and Australia discipline has swung between a very child-centred approach where it seems parents forgot that they were the adults in the parent-child relationship through to the use of parent-focused techniques that place control firmly in the hands of parents. Despite the variety of approaches available parents commonly struggle to get discipline right. Recent Australian research shows that 58 per cent of parents struggle to find the appropriate approach to disciplining their children. Children in their first few years of life are hard work for any parent. Children in the 2-3 year age group present the most challenges to parents behaviourally, with the 11-14 year age group coming a close second. Evidence suggests that parents of young children need to adopt a real-life approach to discipline that is heavy on teaching rather than the punitive stuff. Dr. Sal Severe author of the recently published book for parents "How To Behave So Your Children Will Too" says, "Consistency is the most important element in a child's relationship with their parents." Children need parental consistency as it gives them a sense of security and control.

Consistency means parents dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means parents following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave. It also means that both parents in a dual parent relationship have a similar approach to behaviours. Children learn from a young age to play one parent off against each other when they standards differ.

Timeout is effective if used to either break a young child's pattern of behaviour or interrupt a deteriorating situation. Effective discipline with young children involves a refusal by adults to become involved in the behaviour games that they can play. Children don't act in a vacuum. The language a parent uses with young children can make a huge difference. Effective parents avoid over talking at the point of misbehaviour and don't try to fight children on every battlefront.

Parenting by remote control or from a distance just won't cut it with many children.

The high priority parents place on healthy relationships with children is not compromised by the need to teach them appropriate, safe and socially acceptable behaviour. In fact, good discipline and a good parent-child relationship go hand-in-hand. Discipline maybe misunderstood these days but there is no mistake about its importance for children and parents.

Parent and a Friend to Your Kids

Many parents naturally have a hard time being effective parents because they try their best to also be their child's friend. Sometimes parents worry about doing things that would be disciplinary because they are afraid to risk the friendship. Your children will be the closest friends that you have, unlike any of the other friends that you may have- other than your spouse. If it were your friend, you would want them to do what is right. This is something else to consider when being your child's friend. Do not turn it into a struggle between parent and friend. If you take the time to remember what is necessary, then you will also see that your friendship that you have with your child will flourish.

You will want your child to be able to talk with you and share their feelings with you. You should take the time to focus on discipline when your children are young, and it will follow through with them as they get older. If you properly train your children, you will see the results shine through in their behavior and interactions with others.

There are a lot of different parenting techniques. You can often take the time to focus on the aspects of allowing your child to grow and just nurturing and nudging them in the right direction. Taking time to spend time with your child will help you to build that parental image as well as the friendship that can blossom from that.

As your child gets older, you will inevitably be a friend to them. This is especially try with fathers and sons, and mothers and daughters. This cannot always be the case if you do not take the time to do proper parenting and other things.