Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You
Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition. But it can be a terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you're taking your anger out on them. Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have lasting and lethal implications, so it's crucial that as a parent, you do whatever necessary to get your anger in check.
As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger. If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself. If you don't, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren't fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that's what they'll most likely grow into as well.
It's important to 'pick your battles' when parenting. Accidents and nuisances don't warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry. But misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or property demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will probably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn't worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you're the one in control of your anger; don't let your anger control you. Put yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever you have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the situation if you feel your anger coming on strong.
Jumat, 28 Oktober 2011
Actively Listening Child
Actively Listening to your Child
Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like they're not listening to us; they feel like we're not listening to them. Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting. Your child's feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.
It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our child's feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they're coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.
It's crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.
Don't discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.
Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond - don't react.
Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like they're not listening to us; they feel like we're not listening to them. Good listening and communications skills are essential to successful parenting. Your child's feelings, views and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly.
It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our child's feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where they're coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.
It's crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.
Don't discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.
Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond - don't react.
Rabu, 26 Oktober 2011
Deficiency Of Milk
Deficiency of milk may exist even at a very early period after delivery, and yet be removed. This, however, is not to be accomplished by the means too frequently resorted to; for it is the custom with many, two or three weeks after their confinement, if the supply of nourishment for the infant is scanty, to partake largely of malt liquor for its increase. Sooner or later this will be found injurious to the constitution of the mother: but how, then, is this deficiency to be obviated? Let the nurse keep but in good health, and this point gained, the milk, both as to quantity and quality, will be as ample, nutritious, and good, as can be produced by the individual.
I would recommend a plain, generous, and nutritious diet; not one description of food exclusively, but, as is natural, a wholesome, mixed, animal, and vegetable diet, with or without wine or malt liquor, according to former habit; and, occasionally, where malt liquor has never been previously taken, a pint of good sound ale may be taken daily with advantage, if it agree with the stomach. Regular exercise in the open air is of the greatest importance, as it has an extraordinary influence in promoting the secretion of healthy milk. Early after leaving the lying-in room, carriage exercise, where it can be obtained, is to be preferred, to be exchanged, in a week or so, for horse exercise, or the daily walk. The tepid, or cold salt-water shower bath, should be used every morning; but if it cannot be borne, sponging the body withsalt-water must be substituted.
By adopting with perseverance the foregoing plan, a breast of milk will be obtained as ample in quantity, and good in quality, as the constitution of the parent can produce, as the following case proves:
I attended a lady twenty-four years of age, a delicate, but healthy woman, in her first confinement. The labour was good. Every thing went on well for the first week, except that, although the breasts became enlarged, and promised a good supply of nourishment for the infant, at its close there was merely a little oozing from the nipple. During the next fortnight a slight, but very gradual increase in quantity took place, so that a dessert spoonful only was obtained about the middle of this period, and perhaps double this quantity at its expiration. In the mean time the child was necessarily fed upon an artificial diet, and as a consequence its bowels became deranged, and a severe diarrhoea followed.
For three or four days it was a question whether the little one would live, for so greatly had it been reduced by the looseness of the bowels that it had not strength to grasp the nipple of its nurse; the milk, therefore, was obliged to be drawn, and the child fed with it from a spoon. After the lapse of a few days, however, it could obtain the breast-milk for itself; and, to make short of the case, during the same month, the mother and child returned home, the former having a very fair proportion of healthy milk in her bosom, and the child perfectly recovered and evidently thriving fast upon it.
Where, however, there has been an early deficiency in the supply of nourishment, it will most frequently happen that, before the sixth or seventh month, the infant's demands will be greater than the mother can meet. The deficiency must be made up by artificial food, which must be of a kind generally employed before the sixth month, and given through the bottle.
I would recommend a plain, generous, and nutritious diet; not one description of food exclusively, but, as is natural, a wholesome, mixed, animal, and vegetable diet, with or without wine or malt liquor, according to former habit; and, occasionally, where malt liquor has never been previously taken, a pint of good sound ale may be taken daily with advantage, if it agree with the stomach. Regular exercise in the open air is of the greatest importance, as it has an extraordinary influence in promoting the secretion of healthy milk. Early after leaving the lying-in room, carriage exercise, where it can be obtained, is to be preferred, to be exchanged, in a week or so, for horse exercise, or the daily walk. The tepid, or cold salt-water shower bath, should be used every morning; but if it cannot be borne, sponging the body withsalt-water must be substituted.
By adopting with perseverance the foregoing plan, a breast of milk will be obtained as ample in quantity, and good in quality, as the constitution of the parent can produce, as the following case proves:
I attended a lady twenty-four years of age, a delicate, but healthy woman, in her first confinement. The labour was good. Every thing went on well for the first week, except that, although the breasts became enlarged, and promised a good supply of nourishment for the infant, at its close there was merely a little oozing from the nipple. During the next fortnight a slight, but very gradual increase in quantity took place, so that a dessert spoonful only was obtained about the middle of this period, and perhaps double this quantity at its expiration. In the mean time the child was necessarily fed upon an artificial diet, and as a consequence its bowels became deranged, and a severe diarrhoea followed.
For three or four days it was a question whether the little one would live, for so greatly had it been reduced by the looseness of the bowels that it had not strength to grasp the nipple of its nurse; the milk, therefore, was obliged to be drawn, and the child fed with it from a spoon. After the lapse of a few days, however, it could obtain the breast-milk for itself; and, to make short of the case, during the same month, the mother and child returned home, the former having a very fair proportion of healthy milk in her bosom, and the child perfectly recovered and evidently thriving fast upon it.
Where, however, there has been an early deficiency in the supply of nourishment, it will most frequently happen that, before the sixth or seventh month, the infant's demands will be greater than the mother can meet. The deficiency must be made up by artificial food, which must be of a kind generally employed before the sixth month, and given through the bottle.
Labeling Your House
Get Your Kids Reading By Labeling Your House
There is a fun and simple way to get your kids started recognizing some basic words. You can do it easily without even having to spend any money - you label all of the things in your house. The kids will enjoy getting involved in the ongoing process of labeling things, as well.
You will need some small strips of paper (you might adjust the size according to the item you are labeling), a pair of scissors, a pen or marker, and some tape. You just go through the house room by room, looking for things to label. Say, for instance, we started in the kitchen. Some things in the kitchen we could label are: cabinet, microwave, refrigerator, drawer. Labels might not stick on the oven or the dishwasher when they heat up – and when the dishwasher blows out steam. There are lots and lots of opportunities in the kitchen for naming things, though. You could even keep a stack of paper on the counter and when you come back from the store once a week, you and your child can label cereal boxes, etc.
Constant repetition of these basic words will help your child recognize them by sight and can also begin to help with letter recognition. This is a very basic step in the learning to read process and will not help with phonics skills. It is, however, a very important step and a fun way for your child to begin to 'know' words on his own.
You and your child can get very creative with all of this labeling, too. As stated before, some of the strips of paper can be different sizes, according to the thing being labeled. The strips of paper can also be arranged on things differently. For example, you can put the word 'window' vertically on the middle bar that separates two windows. And on venetian blinds, you can tape the word 'blinds' to an individual blind so that it is easily read when the blind is closed in the downward position. Your child will think it is so funny, because, when you open the blind it will be harder to read. And if you close the blind in the upward position, you won't be able to read it at all.
This is a good way to use the things in your house like flashcards. Close the blinds up and quiz your child on the first letter of the word. And if they are advancing even more, you can ask them to spell the word. This could also be done with cabinet doors – open the door all the way so you cannot see the word.
One room that is difficult to label is the bathroom. Remember when we talked about that steam coming out of the dishwasher? Well, the bathroom is full of steam from our hot showers, shaving, etc. The bathroom can be labeled, it's definitely not impossible. Just keep in mind that you will be replacing those labels from time to time.
The best thing about using labels all over the house is that your child will consider it 'play'. He'll love to help you cut the paper and hang the labels, making it more like a craft than an educational experience. All the while he'll be learning an important foundation to a life of literacy – what a great combination!
There is a fun and simple way to get your kids started recognizing some basic words. You can do it easily without even having to spend any money - you label all of the things in your house. The kids will enjoy getting involved in the ongoing process of labeling things, as well.
You will need some small strips of paper (you might adjust the size according to the item you are labeling), a pair of scissors, a pen or marker, and some tape. You just go through the house room by room, looking for things to label. Say, for instance, we started in the kitchen. Some things in the kitchen we could label are: cabinet, microwave, refrigerator, drawer. Labels might not stick on the oven or the dishwasher when they heat up – and when the dishwasher blows out steam. There are lots and lots of opportunities in the kitchen for naming things, though. You could even keep a stack of paper on the counter and when you come back from the store once a week, you and your child can label cereal boxes, etc.
Constant repetition of these basic words will help your child recognize them by sight and can also begin to help with letter recognition. This is a very basic step in the learning to read process and will not help with phonics skills. It is, however, a very important step and a fun way for your child to begin to 'know' words on his own.
You and your child can get very creative with all of this labeling, too. As stated before, some of the strips of paper can be different sizes, according to the thing being labeled. The strips of paper can also be arranged on things differently. For example, you can put the word 'window' vertically on the middle bar that separates two windows. And on venetian blinds, you can tape the word 'blinds' to an individual blind so that it is easily read when the blind is closed in the downward position. Your child will think it is so funny, because, when you open the blind it will be harder to read. And if you close the blind in the upward position, you won't be able to read it at all.
This is a good way to use the things in your house like flashcards. Close the blinds up and quiz your child on the first letter of the word. And if they are advancing even more, you can ask them to spell the word. This could also be done with cabinet doors – open the door all the way so you cannot see the word.
One room that is difficult to label is the bathroom. Remember when we talked about that steam coming out of the dishwasher? Well, the bathroom is full of steam from our hot showers, shaving, etc. The bathroom can be labeled, it's definitely not impossible. Just keep in mind that you will be replacing those labels from time to time.
The best thing about using labels all over the house is that your child will consider it 'play'. He'll love to help you cut the paper and hang the labels, making it more like a craft than an educational experience. All the while he'll be learning an important foundation to a life of literacy – what a great combination!
Cozy Corner
Cozy Corner Is A Great Way To Encourage Reading In Your House
A wonderful way to encourage your children to read at home is to provide them with a really comfortable place to do so. Find a place in your home that you can dedicate to reading time only and make it super cozy and totally awesome in the eyes of your child. You can even make it almost fort-like and it will become a special place that everyone loves.
You can call it 'Cozy Corner' or 'Reading Corner' or even better would be to let the children help to name it. That would make it even more personal to them and would help them feel more involved in the process of creating this snuggly place to enjoy books.
Now that you have found a place, you need to work on getting it wonderfully cozy. Working from the floor up, two inexpensive napping mats laid side by side would make a nice foundation layer. On top of the mats, a few blankets that are really soft would be great. And next, a pile of pillows will help ensure that your readers can get comfortable in just their own way. Some may want to lie all the way down and some may want to prop themselves up on some stacked, squished-up pillows.
A quick, easy way to add a table for your books is to get a milk crate from the dollar store and turn it upside down in the corner. If you decide to let the children take snacks and drinks with them in the corner and you need the table to put them on, you can use a large, hardcover book on top of the milk crate for a nice, hard surface.
Depending on the lighting in the room you choose, you might need to add some light to your cozy corner. Some type of light that hangs from the wall or the ceiling would be best, so there is no worry of the children knocking it over. You will want to steer away from the harsh, bright bulbs and select soft, reader-friendly bulbs.
Decorating for your cozy corner might just get you and your kids busy with some arts and crafts time. You can make a sign for your reading haven, perhaps even calling it by your family name. For instance, you might call it “Smith Cozy Corner”. Again, you can get the kids involved in the naming process and you might just get creative with alliteration or even rhyming. Alliteration would be quick and easy if your last name starts with 'C', you could call it “Caldwell Cozy Corner” if your name is Caldwell. This will be fun to brainstorm with the kids. Other things you could make to decorate your reading corner are pictures of books, bookworms, or even airplanes if your son loves airplanes.
Another thing you can do to make each child's time in cozy corner really special is to have them reserve their time there. You can set it up so it is similar to checking out books in the library. A schedule on the wall at the entrance would let everyone know when their appointed time is. This could be a laminated chart, so that you can use dry erase markers to use it over and over. Having your own alloted time in cozy corner makes it even more special.
A wonderful way to encourage your children to read at home is to provide them with a really comfortable place to do so. Find a place in your home that you can dedicate to reading time only and make it super cozy and totally awesome in the eyes of your child. You can even make it almost fort-like and it will become a special place that everyone loves.
You can call it 'Cozy Corner' or 'Reading Corner' or even better would be to let the children help to name it. That would make it even more personal to them and would help them feel more involved in the process of creating this snuggly place to enjoy books.
Now that you have found a place, you need to work on getting it wonderfully cozy. Working from the floor up, two inexpensive napping mats laid side by side would make a nice foundation layer. On top of the mats, a few blankets that are really soft would be great. And next, a pile of pillows will help ensure that your readers can get comfortable in just their own way. Some may want to lie all the way down and some may want to prop themselves up on some stacked, squished-up pillows.
A quick, easy way to add a table for your books is to get a milk crate from the dollar store and turn it upside down in the corner. If you decide to let the children take snacks and drinks with them in the corner and you need the table to put them on, you can use a large, hardcover book on top of the milk crate for a nice, hard surface.
Depending on the lighting in the room you choose, you might need to add some light to your cozy corner. Some type of light that hangs from the wall or the ceiling would be best, so there is no worry of the children knocking it over. You will want to steer away from the harsh, bright bulbs and select soft, reader-friendly bulbs.
Decorating for your cozy corner might just get you and your kids busy with some arts and crafts time. You can make a sign for your reading haven, perhaps even calling it by your family name. For instance, you might call it “Smith Cozy Corner”. Again, you can get the kids involved in the naming process and you might just get creative with alliteration or even rhyming. Alliteration would be quick and easy if your last name starts with 'C', you could call it “Caldwell Cozy Corner” if your name is Caldwell. This will be fun to brainstorm with the kids. Other things you could make to decorate your reading corner are pictures of books, bookworms, or even airplanes if your son loves airplanes.
Another thing you can do to make each child's time in cozy corner really special is to have them reserve their time there. You can set it up so it is similar to checking out books in the library. A schedule on the wall at the entrance would let everyone know when their appointed time is. This could be a laminated chart, so that you can use dry erase markers to use it over and over. Having your own alloted time in cozy corner makes it even more special.
Sabtu, 22 Oktober 2011
Whys of Whining
The Whys of Whining
"Moooooooooooom!"
It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it's obnoxious and unacceptable, it's actually an effective for your child to get your attention. It's whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.
First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry. Don't let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren't giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
When the whining begins, don't overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral. Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don't delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It's imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
If you have an older child that's developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem. If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child's whining.
Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root. Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.
"Moooooooooooom!"
It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it's obnoxious and unacceptable, it's actually an effective for your child to get your attention. It's whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.
First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry. Don't let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren't giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
When the whining begins, don't overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral. Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don't delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It's imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
If you have an older child that's developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem. If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child's whining.
Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root. Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.
Discipline without Hurting
Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child
Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience. It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.
Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.
Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.
If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.
Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.
Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience. It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.
Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.
Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.
If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.
Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.
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