Negotiating Rules

The Process of Negotiating the Rules with your Child

We all know as parents that discussing and negotiating the rules with our children is never easy.  Children are all very different, and what might need to be a rule for one, may not even be an issue for another.  That being said, there are many parameters that we set as parents that are the hard and fast rules - those with no 'wiggle room.' Those are the rules set forth to protect our child's health, safety and well-being.  These rules and their consequences should be very clearly defined and it should be understood by all involved that they are there for a very important reason and that they are 'all or nothing.' 

Rules that keep our children safe are of the utmost importance.  These could include everything from teaching youngsters not to touch the hot stove to teaching your school aged child the importance of obeying the laws while riding their bicycle.  Children need to understand these rules are to be followed to the letter and there is no room for negotiation here. 

For adolescents and teenagers, such rules should include expectations about drinking, the use of illegal drugs, or safe defensive driving.  These rules are also imperative to a child's health, well-being and safety.  There should be no room for experimentation or relaxing the rules in specific social situations. 

There are rules that can be fairly and equitably negotiated with your children as well.  Rules regarding how many hours per week can be spent on video game playing, what time a child is expected home for dinner, what time each night homework is to be completed, or how late a teenager is allowed to stay out on weekend nights are all rules that can be discussed openly and honestly between you and your child. These should also be consistent, however.  Don't' allow 11 p.m. one weekend night and then tell your teenager 9:30 the following weekend night when going out with the same group of friends.  If your teenager broke the 11 p.m. curfew the weekend before, the consequence of losing the privilege of going out that weekend should be strictly enforced.  Don't bend the rule just because your teenager seems genuinely sorry and promises never to do it again.  Consequences should be consistent, fair, and always followed through.

Hobbies are Healthy

Hobbies benefit children in many ways. It gives a child an opportunity to express themselves, and it allows them to discover themselves and build self-esteem. They are also great educational tools. A child interested in rock collecting learns about geology and science, and a child in writing stories learns about sentence structure and proper grammar. Hobbies teach children to set and achieve goals, solve problems and make decisions.  They can also set the course for what your child becomes later in life as they often turn into lifelong interests or careers. 
Children who have hobbies are usually following in their parents footsteps, so set a good example by pursuing your own hobby.  Your child will need space for their hobby, so find an area designated specifically for his hobby so he can work on it. Realize that hobbies can sometimes be quite messy, so be at the ready for messes as they come with the territory.

Be available to your child to provide guidance, support and encouragement.  This is a great time to teach your child strong work habits, such as following directions closely, setting goals, and proper planning and organization.  Show them that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, especially when they begin to become frustrated with their progress.  It's also a good time to teach them about personal responsibility and show them how important it is to properly care for their work area and their 'tools of the trade.'

Children will be more encouraged to work on their hobbies if activities like watching television or playing video games are limited.  It's been noted by experts that by age 15, the average child has spent more time watching television than sitting in a classroom.  Again, here's where setting a good example is crucial.  Instead of watching that four-hour football game on Saturday, turn the TV off and work on your own hobby.  Your child may want to join in or work on their own as a result.

Hobbies are rewarding and enriching parts of our lives, so encourage your child to explore his own interests and find a hobby of their very own.

Family Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes most parents feel uncomfortable. In countries such as the United States, United Kingdom and Australia discipline has swung between a very child-centred approach where it seems parents forgot that they were the adults in the parent-child relationship through to the use of parent-focused techniques that place control firmly in the hands of parents. Despite the variety of approaches available parents commonly struggle to get discipline right. Recent Australian research shows that 58 per cent of parents struggle to find the appropriate approach to disciplining their children. Children in their first few years of life are hard work for any parent. Children in the 2-3 year age group present the most challenges to parents behaviourally, with the 11-14 year age group coming a close second. Evidence suggests that parents of young children need to adopt a real-life approach to discipline that is heavy on teaching rather than the punitive stuff. Dr. Sal Severe author of the recently published book for parents "How To Behave So Your Children Will Too" says, "Consistency is the most important element in a child's relationship with their parents." Children need parental consistency as it gives them a sense of security and control.

Consistency means parents dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means parents following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave. It also means that both parents in a dual parent relationship have a similar approach to behaviours. Children learn from a young age to play one parent off against each other when they standards differ.

Timeout is effective if used to either break a young child's pattern of behaviour or interrupt a deteriorating situation. Effective discipline with young children involves a refusal by adults to become involved in the behaviour games that they can play. Children don't act in a vacuum. The language a parent uses with young children can make a huge difference. Effective parents avoid over talking at the point of misbehaviour and don't try to fight children on every battlefront.

Parenting by remote control or from a distance just won't cut it with many children.

The high priority parents place on healthy relationships with children is not compromised by the need to teach them appropriate, safe and socially acceptable behaviour. In fact, good discipline and a good parent-child relationship go hand-in-hand. Discipline maybe misunderstood these days but there is no mistake about its importance for children and parents.

Parent and a Friend to Your Kids

Many parents naturally have a hard time being effective parents because they try their best to also be their child's friend. Sometimes parents worry about doing things that would be disciplinary because they are afraid to risk the friendship. Your children will be the closest friends that you have, unlike any of the other friends that you may have- other than your spouse. If it were your friend, you would want them to do what is right. This is something else to consider when being your child's friend. Do not turn it into a struggle between parent and friend. If you take the time to remember what is necessary, then you will also see that your friendship that you have with your child will flourish.

You will want your child to be able to talk with you and share their feelings with you. You should take the time to focus on discipline when your children are young, and it will follow through with them as they get older. If you properly train your children, you will see the results shine through in their behavior and interactions with others.

There are a lot of different parenting techniques. You can often take the time to focus on the aspects of allowing your child to grow and just nurturing and nudging them in the right direction. Taking time to spend time with your child will help you to build that parental image as well as the friendship that can blossom from that.

As your child gets older, you will inevitably be a friend to them. This is especially try with fathers and sons, and mothers and daughters. This cannot always be the case if you do not take the time to do proper parenting and other things.

You a Super Mom ?

How do you know if you qualify as a Super Mom? Are you sure ?

Well, do you know your children's friends as well as your kids know them? Do your kids friends tell them that you are a cool mom?

Are the other mom's are jealous? Hmmm, well this might be an indication that you are taking a deep interest in your children and their lives. People make choices, it is like that song:

Integrity, strength of character, hard work ethic, we need it and we need it now. Isn't it time you elevated yourself to the Super Mom status?

You know I had friends moms that were Super Moms, as I describe. One was a Mormon Family down the street with "10 kids" my gosh in a track home and another mom whose son was a sports friend 'nemsis' because we were both exceptional athletes. Of course my mom is pretty darn spectacular in her own right.

Traveling With Pets

Traveling With Pets? Disney Offers Pets A Home Away From Home

Many people choose their vacation based on how they will accommodate their pets. Disney has recently introduced a kennel service which has changed many family experiences vacationing with their pets. Now it is possible to take your pet with you when you vacation in Disney, which makes traveling to this magical place much more feasible for many families.

Disney Kennels

There are kennels located in five different locations at Disney; Epcot, Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, and the Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground. These kennels are operated by Best Friends Pet Care Inc., which is a member of the American Boarding Kennel Association.

With the exception of service dogs, pets are not permitted within the theme parks, hotels, buses, or monorail. This means you will need to provide transportation to and from the kennels yourself. There is also the option of overnight boarding, which comes in handy if you are planning on staying for more than a day.

Of course, Disney style means that your pets get a large air-conditioned area to run and play in. Your furry friend will get tons of attention and some of the best veterinary care possible if anything should be needed.

Amenities for Your Pet

When staying at the luxurious kennels, your pet will receive potty walks, play groups, large flat screen TVs, a turn-down biscuit, and so much more. There are a world of things for your pet to do while at Disney, just like you! Why board your pet into a boring kennel at home when they can stay in luxury and fun at Disney World with you? There are also snack options, such as tuna on a Ritz cracker, cookies and milk, bottled water, and even special holiday meals during certain times of the year.

Price

Kennel fees are priced per animal, per day. Having a Disney Resort reservation does not guarantee that a kennel space will be available for your pet, so be sure to call in advance and schedule your pet a place to have fun while you enjoy the sights and sounds of Disney. Passes to the kennel can be obtained from the Transportation and Ticket Center, Epcot and Fort Wilderness locations.

Depending on what type of animal you are boarding and the amenities you want them to have, the prices range anywhere from $20 to about $100 a day. The basic prices are not much more than boarding your furry friend at home and you get the added benefit of being able to see your friend whenever you feel so inclined. You can also choose a la carte items, which range from playgroups to cuddle time and even an ice cream break. These a la carte items range from $3 to $15.

Requirements

Remember, it is important to bring your pets’ current vaccination and health record from your veterinarian. Without it, your pet will not be able to stay in the kennels. Also, while reservations are not required, the kennels do fill up quickly. To be on the safe side, have a reservation made in advance. Check Disney's vaccination requirements when you book your pets' stay.

Conclusion

Disney World installed their kennels so that you won’t have to be away from your family friend. Everything Disney does is grand, so why not treat your pet to the same Disney experience and board them in the kennels at Disney on your next trip.

Phonics Activities

Phonics Activities To Help Your Emerging Reader

An important part of teaching children to read is phonics instruction. Teaching phonics is teaching children about the blending of letters to make certain sounds and also introducing them to the relationship between printed letters and spoken words. So we are not just dealing with multiple letter blends, but, also, understanding that the letter 'd' in the word dog makes the “d” sound.

There are a lot of activities that you can do with children to get them started on understanding how these sounds and these printed letters and words work together. As children are learning the relationship between letters and sounds, these fun activities will allow them to practice what they are learning.

Make a trail of alphabet footprints so you and the children can sing the alphabet song as you walk along the ABC path. Use some sturdy paper, like cardstock, and cut out 26 footprints and write one letter of the alphabet on each one. Secure them on the floor with packing tape in order, but, in a gently curving path. Step on the letters one at a time, in order, and sing each letter as you step on it. Now let the child try it and sing along with him as he walks the path.

For this activity, you will need two teams of kids. You are going to give each team a word and each team will have to come up with words that rhyme with their word. So let's say you give the first team the word 'let' and the second team the word 'sat'. They send each of their players up to the board to write a word that rhymes with their word. When every player has had a turn, the team with the most correct words wins.

A game that doesn't require any materials and that is easy to play on the go is phonics I-spy. The player who is it will spy something and tell the other person or people that they see something that starts with a certain letter. Perhaps he sees a tree, he would say that he sees “something that starts with a 'tttttt'”. And the other players have to guess what it is that he has spied. The one who figures it out then gets to spy something and make the others guess.

Understanding how letters and the sounds they make are the building blocks for the words that we speak is an important part of learning to read. When children learn phonics, they learn that the words we speak are made up of letters and that each letter has its own sound. And they also learn about groups of letters that are blended together to make sounds. When they begin to become familiar with all of these sounds, they can not only recognize familiar words, but, they also have clues to work out new words on their own.